Forgiveness is often overlooked in the process of change. After all, there are so many more important things to occupy our time, right? Such as clearing debts, simply eating in some cases, paying the bills, avoiding fighting with the kids / spouse / parents / boss (delete as appropriate).

And yet… and yet… How much juice would life have if all we have is resentment and bitterness? If you want to see the value of forgiveness in your life and how powerfully it can transform you, try this following exercise:

Think of someone who has hurt, perhaps badly. As much as you feel safe to do so, feel the feelings that this person makes you feel (angry, resentful, hurt, afraid, abused, what ever it is)

Now, simply allow yourself to welcome that feeling. yes, welcome it. After all, you’re feeling it anyway now, right? So what difference is there if you welcome the feeling? This does not mean you have accept or condone what was done to you. Simply welcome the feeling. OK so far?

Next, ask yourself this question: “Could I let go of this feeling?” Whether you answer Yes or No, is not that important, as long as you are being honest with yourself.

Next, even if you answered No above, ask yourself, “Would I let go of this feeling?” Again, Yes or No. No dithering, maybes, or becauses are allowed.

Lastly, ask yourself “When?” When would allow yourself to let go of that feeling of hurt? Now, how do you feel? A bit lighter perhaps? If you do, you’ve just put the power of forgiveness to work for you.

I can think of no better authority on the power of forgiveness than Nelson Mandela, and this is what he said about forgiveness:

“When you forgive, fear has no power over you, that is the power of forgiveness”

Nelson Mandela